Denying Self

When I was six years old, my mother explained to me what it meant to be a Christian. Right then and there, I made the decision to live a life devoted to Jesus, because I knew I wanted a relationship with Him like my mom had. Even at age six, I could see her love for the Lord, and my young heart longed for that same closeness with Him.

Living a life that’s devoted to Jesus takes intention. There are several practices we should prioritize as believers – prayer, Bible study, personal worship, sharing our faith. But there’s one seldom-talked-about practice that helps activate all of the others. That practice is self-denial. 

Luke 9:23-24 (ESV) – And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. 

Self-denial is denying what I want in the moment for the sake of someone else or something greater. 

What we naturally want is our will, in our way, on our time. We know God is calling us to surrender our desires for His, but it can often feel like an uphill battle. Culture is shouting, “It’s all about you! “Follow your heart!” We hear self-centered messages being screamed from our TVs, our laptops, and our phone screens every day. We face the temptation to become spiritually, emotionally, and mentally complacent – entertained to numbness. Through technology and other modern advances, we have the potential to create a golden age, but rather than taking those steps forward, we easily get distracted from living our best life because of… stuff. And things. And self. 

Not long ago, the Lord brought my attention to something in my life that had to change. While I was in prayer, I suddenly found myself incredibly disappointed in how much time I spent on my phone. 

For years, I’ve had the conviction that I don’t want my kids, my wife, or my friends to look back at their relationship with me and remember me as someone who always had his face in his phone. I want to be approachable and relational, so when I’m around people, I’ve always done my best not to be distracted. However, I realized during that prayer time that my little device still had a hold on my heart. I would keep it close so I could pick it up whenever my wife or kids walked out of the room. Whenever I was anywhere alone, my first thought was to check that little screen. Pick it up. Stare at it. Scroll through it. I wasn’t looking at anything sinful or inappropriate, but that day, I suddenly realized how important, how way too important, this device had become to me. 

So, I chose to make a change. I fully believe it was under the inspiration and calling of the Holy Spirit – it was His voice speaking to me. So, I laid it down in a way I never had before. I now use it for a handful of things - mostly for productivity and communication. I’ve cut out games, YouTube, and social media. My goal isn’t to be legalistic. My goal is to be present. Devoted to the right things. God. My family. My church. My growth. And I’ve found that my phone no longer runs my life!

Luke 9:23-24 (ESV) – And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.

It’s hard to deny yourself, but it’s so good and so worth it. 

Some days, I’ve woken up excited because I’m no longer addicted to my phone. This thing no longer controls me! I don’t need the dopamine hit anymore. Rather than picking up my device, I’ve had more moments where my mind is free to start praying, speaking in tongues, saying to God, “Hey, Lord. What’s up?” Rather than throwing my phone on the couch when my wife or kid walks around the corner, I’m just there, bored and ready to connect!

Denying yourself can be hard, but it’s also powerful to not be controlled by anything but Him. Imagine what God can do with your life when you say, “I lay down my life, and I follow you.” 

Your phone isn’t evil; it’s a tool, just like other forms of technology. Social media, TV, and other forms of entertainment are each valuable for certain things at certain times. The key is to not be controlled by any of them, and to instead get good at denying yourself. 

Take some time today and ask God: “Is my life about my comfort, or is it about more? Is there an area of my life that’s out of balance? Is there anything that distracts me from what’s most important? What are You putting Your finger on that You want me to lay down?"

Luke 9:23-24 (ESV) – And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.